Phil eats actors for breakfast. Phil's directing style is based primarily on takeaways from online videos of Jiu Jitsu tournaments. One time Phil witnessed a wasp get "stuck" in a spider web, and when the spider came near the wasp, it grabbed the spider, gobbled it up, and flew away. Phil was taught an important lesson that day. Did he learn it, though? Did he really? One time Phil read a cue card saying "I enjoy feces." That was mostly true.
Jon joins Escape Reality after a week or two of off-off-off Broadway experience as lumber wrangler for 'This Old House: The Musical'.
In addition to speaking as little as possible, Jon keeps things kind of organized. Well, to be honest, he's the only dude we know with a pickup truck. There, we said it.
Firstly, we identify as the queen. You can call us/we. Deep thoughts. It's important to have your cake and eat it too.
In the future Katelyn will be known for her excellence in marketing, non-violent communication, and international espionage.
She's no longer the new one.
Laughter, adoration, respect and attention.
Yes, Riplie initially joined Escape Reality to find these things but found something even better: a four-year unpaid legally binding internship as a stagehand helping to create the magic backstage because as Phil said, “Some people belong on the stage and then there is you, Riley”.
Ripley looks forward to finishing his internship and hopes one day to have health care.
Despite all of the rumors, Nathan Andrew Franklin was never a Boy Scout. He learned everything about survival from his homeschool education, where he became a star in his own right. Everyone has a right to be a star, so if you’ve never heard of him, the joke’s on YOU!
Gerie grew up on the mean streets of suburbia (i.e., Long Island, NY) which was the perfect upbringing to create another disgruntled lawyer. She works from home with her two dogs (who can be terrors) and dresses every day like she is going to the gym but does not belong to one. Gerie spends her free time trying to get on game shows and blaming her parents for all of her neuroses.
Nicolette Regina is perfect in every way. She’s never had a mental breakdown nor has she ever had any broken bones. Her art is cultivated from pure talent and wit. Not depression. May we remind you that “Regina” means queen in Italian. She also has the perfect cat, Bugbee June Regina.
You might have followed Jonathan's storied Hollywood career, having starred in such blockbuster hits as "Look Who's Milking Daddy 2" and "Goat Tipping: the Revenge." When he's not method acting, his mild-mannered alter ego is that of a career waiter (talk about a cliché!). Jonathan used to be pretty good at visual art as well, but AI has made him completely obsolete. He enjoys nature and using mind-altering substances to distract from the inevitable degradation of his corporeal form in a meaningless existence for which he did not give consent.
Just as Jeffrey Dahmer and Ed Gein before him, Jarrett Brown was born and raised in Wisconsin. He fled to Portland, OR because the passive-aggressive residents do not ask questions. His ability to insert himself inside other people’s skin is what lured him to Escape Reality. Currently he is holed up in an undisclosed location in Idaho… but he will strike (the set) again.
OK so here comes another flarpin’ transplant….this one by way of Memphis Tennessee.
Kimmie Kim, also known as DJ Kimikaze in some karaoke circles, was recruited as a stagehand to bring some much needing flarpin’ diversity to this YT ARSE production.
Kimmie not only brings her southern charm to the cast, she also hasn’t shaved her legs or armpits in 5 years. She’s already fitting in as one of us here in the PNW.
Jared Souza lives at the bottom of a river. They are more of an algae than a writer, or an actor, or a cartoonist, or a puppeteer, costume designer, set designer, blah blah blah, but also those things... Or none of them. Jared Souza does not exist.
Psst... Hey. Jen Fitzpatrick is a professional spy, but don't worry, she says you're too boring to have a file on. Good for you. It's a fact that spies are known as nature's thespians, so it makes sense that Jen would be moonlighting with this gang of ass mats?!
Having a keen understanding and particularly unique affect of being cleverly loquacious, Josh has managed to fool the rest of the gang and inserted himself into their naive graces.
He continues to fool them at regular intervals. Lucky for him they will likely never catch on. Bunch of dummies.
Her trail is a swirl of seaweed, music, a pet kraken, and maniacal laughter. Jessica finds her time on land exhausting but entertaining. Being forced to exist on two legs wasn't her idea, but she has figured out a few things and is rumored to have drowned only a handful of incompetent fools who didn't know how to take direction, laugh, or sip tea with a pinky up.
Bradley Bradley Bradley Hensley Beasley was born on the bad side of a brawl. She developed a taste for human flesh early on and this passion has motivated her in her daily life ever since. One day you will meet her.
Fancy pants was looking at a butterfly the other day... Food. Food. Foooooood. Pie.
